Twenty-Seventh Hokage ☼ [Action] Fourth Wall!

[jinchuuriki]

[Given that there's so many people suddenly in Luceti, it's pretty much caused curiosity to get the better of Naruto. So, what does this amazing shinobi do about all of that? Sit on the edge of a rooftop, make a face, and watch everyone. It's interesting, he guesses.

And at some point after that, he'll be trying to force his way past people to try and find food. Because hunger > curiosity.]

Comments

[godaime]

[ Tsunade appears on the roof top after a brief intense flash of yellow light.

She seems to be sliced all over her body. There are pretty much lacerations everywhere and some of them are deep. Also, ignore the sound of her vomiting blood, Naruto. That's certainly none of your concern. After a brief look around, Tsunade begins to shout. ]

Oi, oi! Where the fuck am I?! This isn't the battlefield! Mabui, your stupid jutsu got us in the wrong place entirely!! Where's A? [ Yep. Totally not noticing Naruto. Instead, she's just looking in the opposite direction. God damn it. ]

1/2

[jinchuuriki]

[Naruto perks up at her voice. He knows that voice! He knows it for sure! Quite frankly, it's a voice that he's relieved to hear, because it's been so long. He rolls back a bit, onto his feet, and turns to look at Tsunade.] Oi--!

2/2

[jinchuuriki]

[She's bleeding!? Why didn't he hear the vomiting. That's not supposed to happen! No, this is bad. This is really bad.]

Granny!? Oi, what happened to you!?

[godaime]

[ She turns to Naruto, with the seal that she previously used to counter act Pain's nuke onto Konoha and when she protected him from Orochimaru's sword unleashed. She makes a hand sign. ] Release! Souzou Saisei! [ She looks up at Naruto as her wounds slowly dissolve. Yep. Once again, she's using her life span to heal herself.

However, when she looks up and sees Naruto she just looks at him with a completely puzzled face. ]

Naruto?! What? Shouldn't you be helping the rest of the soldiers? [ Why isn't he in that awesome new upgrade he just got???? ] I was coming to join you. [ that...doesn't really answer the question. ]

[jinchuuriki]

Soldiers? What are you talkin' about? [Was it the war? That everyone who suddenly shows up to Luceti from back home try their hardest to hide from him all the time and he can never quite place what's so odd about all the stories?]

Did somethin' happen, Granny?

1/2

[godaime]

You don't remember the Fourth Shinobi World War? [ Just what is going on here. Naruto... You should know this by now!

She begins to seal the jutsu into the diamond mark on her forehead once more. ]

Nothing too bad happened what's going to happen because we're trapped here i-

2/2

[godaime]

Are those wings? [ Yep. She just noticed. ]

1/2

[jinchuuriki]

[Did she say--] The Fourth Shinobi World War!? That's goin' down!?

2/2

[jinchuuriki]

[--Ah, yeah. She just asked something. About the wings.

... Should probably answer that before getting his own answer, huh?] Ah, yeah. They're wings -- come with gettin' tossed in this place.

[godaime]

Yeah. That thing began. At first we sealed you off, against my discretion, but later I tried to get you and B to pass. You were successful, Naruto, and ended up changing the entire course of the war. [ Story time is now over as Tsunade turns her body a bit to show that she has no wings! ]

...I don't have them. [ Tsunade believes him, though. Thank god he said that or she'd be wondering about Naruto making a fashion statement. ]

[friedphillycheesesteak]

Aw man. Free fried philly cheese steak dipped in cheddar cheese sauce and wrapped in bacon with a side of crawfish nuggets. Why couldn't I have crashed into this place sooner?

[And just as Coop goes to take a bite out of it, his elbow hits the "curb stomp" button on the control panel and it causes Megas to just. Stomp the ever living HELL out of the one of the food places Naruto is planning to go to.]

... Oops.

[jinchuuriki]

[... D-Did a giant robot just crush his destination? After he took so long to wade through crowds of people just to make it?

His ramen... gone!?] WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

[friedphillycheesesteak]

[Uh oh. Citizens of this place are gonna be mad about that aren't they? Uuuh. He leans his head out the window.]

Okay. I know it looks bad. But don't worry. I can fix it. [No he can't. And there's going to be like a half a minute pause after he says that. He holds out his container of crawfish nuggets.]

Want some crawfish nuggets? [That's him fixing it.]

[jinchuuriki]

[Well, he is hungry-- WAIT, NO. YOU WILL NOT SEDUCE HIM, FOUL TEMPTRESS OF FOOD.]

How the hell is that supposed to help!? There might've been people inside there! [AND RAMEN.]

[friedphillycheesesteak]

Hey, how irresponsible do you think I am!? I do this kinda stuff all the time and no one ever gets hurt.

[...]

At least... I don't think so.

[jinchuuriki]

How're people not gonna get hurt when you're crushing all the good restaurants!?

[friedphillycheesesteak]

Well, to be fair, I did offer you some of my crawfish nuggets.

Actually. Hey, if you want I'll even throw in a side of bacon. That sound fair?

[obstinates]

[He took a wrong turn and somehow ended up here because he and Kurama are such bros now and his super speed BROKE THE MOTHERFUCKING FOURTH WALL.

So he is just standing in the middle of a crowd, blinking and looking completely dumbfounded because this is not the battlefield and all the other jinchuuriki are gone and he can't find Tobi, Kakashi, or Gai anywhere. WHAT THE HELL?

And he's lit up like a goddamn candle.]

... HEY! Where the hell am I? This better not be some sorta genjutsu, y'know!

[jinchuuriki]

[Why's that guy lighting up a candle? It's kinda cool, but at the same time-- WAIT. THAT GUY LOOKS FAMILIAR.

...

Naruto is gonna be jumping down from his rooftop, and going to call this guy the hell out.] Oi, who the hell do you think you are!? Tryin' to pass off as me!

1/2

[obstinates]

[He doesn't even bother inspecting this asshole at first.]

Eh? What the hell are you talkin' about?! I'm me! I'm not passin' off as--

2/2

[obstinates]

[Oh wait. What in the world is--? Oh, he must have made a clone and forgot.

So he's going to clasp his hands together and try to dispel his obvious Shadow Clone. Yep.]

Yeah, real funny. I'm the boss here, y'know!

[jinchuuriki]

[What the hell? He knows that stance-- Oh, this guy is a dick.]

Are you tryin' to dispel me!? I'm not a clone, I'm the real deal! Who are you supposed to be?

[obstinates]

[Claiming to be the real deal? THIS GUY IS A DICK.]

What sorta question is that? I'M NARUTO.

[jinchuuriki]

[MAN, THIS GUY IS SUCH A DICK.]

You can't be Naruto, idiot! I'm Naruto!

[obstinates]

[ALL THE DICKS EVER. THIS GUY.]

Don't call me idiot, idiot! You can't be Naruto! I am! I've always been Naruto, y'know! Number One Hokage Candidate, right here! Konoha's Orange Hokage! Get it right!